Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Imagine.....



Imagine being in a special needs orphanage in Eastern Europe your ENTIRE life. 

One room day after day after day......

After day.

 
 
The same four walls.....

The same children.....

The same food.....

The same smells...

The same sights...

The same routine.....

Day after day after day.
 
 

 
The only thing that changes is the staff....

The workers....

The people you are dependent on to care for you.....

To feed you, to clothe you, to give any affection that you might be lucky enough to receive-

You never know who will be there.  The nice one, the mean one, the loud one, the quiet one, the rough one, the gentle the one, the scary one, the silent one...


***

One day, out of the blue, people come to visit you.
 
 
You don't know why.....

But you are allowed out of the big room and into the coat room or outside.
 
 
 
 
 
The people look different, talk different, smell different-

And it's scary and exciting...

You are not given a choice-

So you visit with them.....
 
 
 
 
 
You hear the workers talking...

Talking about what might happen to you after you leave this place. 
 
 
 They tell you to be nice so the people will like you and take you home. 
 
 
Since you have never gone anywhere before,

you have no idea what they are talking about.....
 
 
 
***
 
 
One day, the people come to take you away from your orphanage...

You are told to go.
 
 
 
 
You ride in a car with the new people.....
 
 
 
 
 
 
And then on a train....

and then on airplanes.....
 
You are scared......

And exhausted.....

And

Completely

Overwhelmed....
 
 
 

 You are assaulted....

 By new sounds, smells, sights, touches, clothes, food....

You are sick to your stomach....

You vomit again and again....

Your head is pounding...You cry and scream.....

Your muscles hurt from so much movement...

You want to get away...

You hit and pinch and bite......

You are terrified....

And helpless.
 
 
 
You miss...
 
The orphanage...

The routine...
 
The same four walls...
 
The same faces...
 
The smells and sounds...

You miss the nannies...

and your body misses the medications.....

 
 
***
 
 
When you arrive...
 
There are many more people.....
 
 
 
Your new family and friends....
 
Are waiting...
 

 
They are happy,
 
but you have no idea why...


 
 
They want to touch you and talk to you....
 
 
 
 

 
And cry on you....
 

 
 
And kiss you and hug you....
 

 
And talk to you with words
you don't understand...

 
 You just want to cry...

 
And go back home....
 
 

And you do....
 
 
Forever...
 
 
(January 2014)
 
 

3 comments:

  1. yup. BEAUTIFUL! thank you for the updates! those boys have really captured my heart and it is so amazing to see them shining! :-)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Beautiful! Wishing you and your family continued blessings!

    ReplyDelete